sluttyoliveoil:

once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her mom and her mom said “im on my way, the traffic is just slow, im coming” and my friend went “mom i called the house phone”

pityreblogs:

when i’m old i’m going to say “or as they said in my day “yolo swag””

childrapist666:

one small typo and suddenly that sexist republican is the sexiest republican

jamesfrancgoaway:

“just wait i’m gonna get hot eventually” - me when i’m 83 years old

haemus:

skittlesndrpepper:

craigmothertucker:

so my 16 year old brother made himself a balloon son and kept a photo album of their day together here it is

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my boyfriend and his outstanding level of maturity.

I want to have a bf just like that